Reacting Versus Responding
Before a person can learn how to lead, they need to learn how to lead themselves (self-leadership). This means that they are doing the work of clearing the frames that are running their inner and outer games and running their reactions. By doing the clearing work, they can become more responsive, instead of reactive.
Re-acting means doing the same thing you’ve done before. Responsiveness is action in the moment. It's a new emergent property of the present moment, whereas a reaction is an action from a less mature version of you than the you right now. Responsiveness comes from the maturity of who you are in this moment with your experience, your understanding, your self-leadership and guidance, to move to what is the right action for you in that moment.
The Work of Clearing
With leadership coaching, we're enabling the leader to do the clearing work so that they can do what they already know to do, but for some reason aren't. In this type of developmental coaching, we don't give advice because the person has all the knowledge within them. They already know what to do, they're just not doing it.
Developmental coaching is about unlocking what it is that stops people from clearing the way. Being clear means that they're not leading like someone else; they're leading from who they are in this moment, from their maturity and their experience, and so leading becomes a very personal expression of this gestalt.
Leading isn't about using a specific strategy or following a step by step production model. It's going inside and leading from what is truly inside in an unleashed way. You don’t lead from your story or anyone else’s story; you lead from your future potential in the present moment. Otto Scharmer in his book Theory U calls this "learning from the future, as it emerges..."
The future doesn't exist here in reality; it's an unending evolution of the present. Future exists as a pure construct of mind; a movie in your mind. As we develop through our understanding of ourselves and how we represent reality, we can start to let go of the representations that hold us back. We can start doing the work of clearing the past representations and seeing through the construct nature of future representations, in order for us to enable ourselves to just be here. This is where life exists. It doesn't exist in the past, that's already happened. It doesn't exist in the future because the future hasn't happened yet, it's a construct of the mind. Life exists here, in this moment.
When we talk about being enlightened, it is about literally waking up to what is true in the present moment. The subject is your subjective experience where you look at how you “do you” objectively so that you can work out what it is that needs to change.
This involves a certain amount of skill development, and there are core skills that we develop within our NLP course offerings, beginning with listening and the ability to listen at multiple levels. Being able to listen gives more information than hearing the words. Learning to listen enables you to get into a deeper level of rapport with people at an unconscious level, so the person's not aware of what you're doing, through matching and mirroring, pacing and leading.
Next, we teach people how to ask questions. Asking questions facilitates a deeper understanding that allows you to calibrate what's going on and therefore listen at a deeper level. This enables you to induce and lead your mind-body emotional states to have influence in conversations and relationships. This is followed by giving and receiving feedback in a healthy, active way.
Four Aspects of NLP
These are the core skills of coaching and communicating that make up one aspect of NLP. The second aspect is how you learn. By understanding your preferences for learning, you can accelerate your capacity to learn. When you can learn in the moment, you become an ongoing student, unfolding different levels of learning mastery. The third aspect is that you get to learn about you, how you “do you,” the good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly, without judgment. By perceiving you, and then using that information to shift change and adjust, you can move forward with new information and use what you're getting fed back to shift change and adjust. The fourth is coming together with a community of like-minded people that are deeply connected.
NLP is a development model that fosters the growth and development of yourself. It is about learning how development works and then actively doing the work of clearing old frames, to enable you to lead your own development through time, in an accelerated way. It's about unfolding you in an intentional way.
The Coaching Room NLP Courses
The Coaching Room offers an NLP practitioner course that gives you an understanding of the key five domains of NLP. It links them together and shows you how they work in a single model. The master practitioner course goes into more embodied depth, to take the understandings that you have in cognition and incorporate them into your life. This course is transformational because it's looking at the structure of the personality itself. You learn to clear the way for change so you can be the human being you already know how to be but just aren't in your life. Master practitioner is about helping you lean into being truly who you are in a self-actualized way.
We offer a variety of NLP courses throughout the year. Feel free to drop me a message if you have any questions, and below you can download our NLP Practitioner brochure - and start the journey to changing your world today...