‘’Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom’’.
G’Day, Joseph here from The Coaching Room, thanks for checking this article out. Once you have read it, I hope that knowing a little more about NLP provides you some value and some meaningful action points that you can use to improve the quality of your own life, as it has in my own life…
To begin, let’s look lightly at a question that I am asked regularly; what is NLP?
Well, NLP or Neuro Linguisting Programming is a methodology, a set of tools, models and techniques to help a person communicate more effectively with themselves and other people. In essence, to manage their thinking, feelings, speech and behaviours in a way that serves them and honours’ everyone else.
So, if that is something of interest for you too, in a moment, carry on reading down the page and discover 5 ways that you can use NLP to your advantage. Before that, let’s explore what we I mean by ‘Advantage’
So, NLP can offer you a greater opportunity at being successful, but at what? Well, being successful at being and doing YOU, being able to live into your best, your highest possibilities, for a happier existence for you and those around you. This advantage is a part of your personal development, and although you can take a personal development course or NLP training, you may not be ready for that yet. So, let’s start together by exploring the following:
1. Reclaim your Thoughts and Beliefs
Take a look at your mind, interesting, isn’t, it seems to ramble along, often, seemingly on it’s own, without you! Have you noticed that? Where do all these thoughts and belief you are running come from? Well, there is a lot of truth in the fact that most of them are not yours, you were given them, encouraged what to think, value, believe, consider important or not.
In NLP we realise that we can choose our thinking, our beliefs. So this first advantage is to update your thoughts, spend some time being aware of what you are thinking and believing. Do you really think that or believe that for yourself? Is this thought current and valuable or well passed its use by date? Any easy way to do that is simply to bring some awareness to a belief or thought you are having and decide YES this is useful and valuable or NO this no longer serves me and say NO to that belief or thinking style. That's it, easy, practice often ☺
‘’So rarely does a mind have a belief as a belief has a mind! - Mark Twain
2. Have feelings and emotions, don’t be had by them
In NLP we experience feelings and emotions as symptoms or effects of thinking. Typically, thoughts, memories, values etc cause, lead or create feelings and emotional experiences, good, bad or indifferent. So, try to listen first to the thinking you are having that is causing the feeling you are experiencing.
The second advantage here is to realise that feelings as real as they are, are not something you need to react from, resolve or work through. Today give some focus to any feelings that arise, particularly difficult ones, and ask, what am I thinking that is causing this feeling? Often we assume the person or event in the world outside of us is causing this feeling, have a look for yourself and you will see that is very rarely the case.
3. Practice your power to respond
Have you ever reacted or even over reacted with someone or some situation and absolutely regretted it later? I have often in my life time. In NLP we realise that with practice that type of living and regretful state is something we have the power to end, to be able to move into a response based power and life. Take a moment to look at the word react, look again; Re-Act. A reaction, short of one that actually saves your life is a behaviour from an out-dated you, from a younger less mature version of yourself- Reacting is selling your present mature and capable self short! This third advantage offers awareness and a chance to practice choosing to respond to people and situations, slow down give yourself some time to own your thoughts, experience your feelings and choose a response- without regret ☺
4. Meet the world where it is
This fourth advantage will quite literally enable you to (with practice ☺) eliminate disappointment from your life, in your self, in others and in all situations! Imagine that… In NLP we know that disappointment and upset often occur when the world or reality show up in a way that we did not expect! So, try bringing your power of acceptance to the world- ‘Ok , I was not expecting that to happen today, however (acceptance) it did. ‘He should not have said those thing to me today, however (acceptance) he did. Now what do I choose to do if anything in response to that? There you have it, a simple and profound advantage.
5. Realise no-one has the whole truth
In this fifth and final advantage for today, I’d like to share with you a principle that was truly profound for me. It was the realisation that no-one can hold or speak the whole truth. All perspective and understandings or opinions are partially true and partially of course, untrue! What this enabled me to be able to be is a much better or effective listener and human being. Today I can listen to anyone’s opinion or view and seek to find the part in it that is true, whilst holding awareness that it is also partial and therefore there is some not truth in it too. Give this practice a try today, it offers great flexibility and freedom in relating to other people and to yourself.
That’s all for now, till next time, thank you for reading ☺